Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
