Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Randomize
