ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
