I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
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