Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
it's like iHOP with fire
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize