Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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