Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
wrigley field is MILF paradise
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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