My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
