Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Are my feet made of real feet?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
