he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
