I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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