I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
vagina is talking i cant
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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