This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
