It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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