Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
