Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
