DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
