Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
