She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
She's like a pop up book from hell.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
