you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
