Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
