just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
