I don't usually arrange sex via text message
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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