i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
