i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
well you can't waste a boner
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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