Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
