You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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