You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
