I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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