Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
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