Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
