there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
