I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Lo siento on account of my penis...
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
