I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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