im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
