I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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