that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize