we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
