Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
