Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
