Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
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