I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
