Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
