so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Reggie can tackle my bush.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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