its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
