Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
