And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
