Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
So vagazzling was a success
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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