I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Randomize
