There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
How does one acquire holy water?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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