p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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