Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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