at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize