the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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