Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
