now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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