You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
