even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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