fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
