a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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