I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
