I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I cockslap morals
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
