It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
