I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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