I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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