did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
